ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Ketchup is God's man juice
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
