All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
