: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
