dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
