I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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