I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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