just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
