My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Randomize
