i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
