Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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