Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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