dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
When are your genitals available?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
