So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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