I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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