I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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