normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
