The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
