my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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