guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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