I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
