Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
