my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
