well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
