wat bout pragnant strippers??
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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