She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
