it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
