i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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