take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
