she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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