someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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