do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
