i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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