he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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