No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
