Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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