Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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