I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
