i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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