soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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