Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
