They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
