do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
