john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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