Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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