i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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