First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
