come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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