I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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