I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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