if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
